GOD LTD IS COMING TO THE FRINGE

And what better way to celebrate than a heavenly office party?

Gossip Girl here! Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of STAG’s  elite  all-inclusive, welcoming society.

 That's right folks, STAG is hitting the Edinburgh fringe this august, Ryan Rutherford's 'God LTD' is a less-than-angelic comedy set in heaven, following a group of God's best angels as they attempt to run the office while he goes on vacation. And it's going to be amazing.

The office party was a roaring success. I took it upon myself, yes, me, Trudy the office intern, to gather all the juicy office gossip from the angels, CEO, chairpeople and IT workers alike.

(Me, Trudy, and Jamie C, a colleague of mine)

So equipped with my clipboard and name tag, this was the gossip I managed to squeeze out of the poor intoxicated souls, interview style.

QUESTION ONE: What is your favourite type of cheese?

(Baby steps. Bare with, just luring them in.)

"Brie"- Conor O'Donnelly.

"Extra mature cheddar"- Michael Cartledge.

"What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror? Hallou-mi!"- Christian Lihou (Get out.)

You heard it here first.

QUESTION TWO: What is something angelic you have done?

"Helped an old woman across the street"- Pretty much everyone I interviewed.

"I can't think of anything"- Everyone else.

Nice, guys. Great to know we're such a charitable society who have helped so many in such a range creative and original ways.

QUESTION THREE: What is a sin you have committed?

("There we go, that's more like it!"- Everyone)

"I've lived in my flat a whole year and only ever bought toilet paper once"- Christian 'The Snake' Lihou.

"I said a hip hop,

The hippie, the hippie,

To the hip, hip hop, and you don't stop, a rock it

To the bang bang boogie, say, up jump the boogie,

To the rhythm of the boogie, the beat."- David Bain

"I once bit into a kitkat without snapping the two mini bars apart"- Annie 'The Reckless' Bird.

"I accidentally dropped Dave's guinea pig into an electric fan. It died. That's an understatement, actually."- Bob the angel

"I pee on my young"- Rebecca 'Responsible STAG Mumma' Smith

"Is drinking a sin?"- Mia 'Mad Wan' Clarke

"Spent the whole morning googling security cameras for the Meadows..."- Ewan 'Cray-Cray' Shand

"Being Gay"- Gregor Weir

"I was part of a lollipop dealing franchise in primary school"- Hanni 'Mafia Mama' Shinton

"Sometimes I circulate videos of minions amongst friends and tempt them in with pornography"- Marlene...

Ok I can't carry on you guys are too much I'm going to go to the next question before we all get fired.

QUESTION FOUR: Any office gossip?

"Ewan Shand has the floppiest hair of any human being."- Annie Saxberg (Breaking)

"Rumour has it the CEO (None other than Mr Rutherford) has been fraternising with Jane from Department C and entering himself into the prayer answering machine."- Megan McKenna (escándalo)

"I heard Gabe stuck himself in the photocopier... but made no copies"- Bob the Angel (there seems to be a theme emerging here)

"Evan from IT has a fucking massive head and is shit at his job and we had to fit him a new halo"- Kirsty Fraser (AKA the office Queen Bee)

UPDATE !!!: Kirsty Fraser later approached me with the juiciest gossip yet...

"Rebecca was seen getting very close with Evan from IT, and now her name tag is STUCK to him??? How did that happen, Rebecca and EvanfromIT???"

Well, Evan? Explain yoself.

QUESTION FIVE: Say a little prayer for meeee

"Why is the sky blue?"- Flora Robson

"Lalalalala let everyone be happy and optimistic pls I hate dead unhappy people"- Isabelle Ribe

"Don't do drugs, save a life, learn an instrument"- Max Chase (Words to live by)

"I pray Miriam won't crash and burn the society in a Steps-related disaster"- Phoebe Elliot

"Benedictum sit sanctum nomen Domini pro Reginis fundatricibus nostris caeterisque Benefactoribus"- Michael Cartledge

"Dear God, pls cure my chronic handsomeness"- Evan from IT (name and shame, Zac Simmons in disguise)

And, finally...

QUESTION SIX: What do you think of the CEO?

"Bit eh a knob, got approximately 3 redeemable qualities...

1. He looks like Morrissey

2. His glasses are cute but about five years out of fashion

3. ... He looks like Morrissey"- Calum Ross

"He jogs to work which saves the environment. And he looks good in a suit with a pair of trainers."- Jamie Carline

"He's a good kisser"- Rebecca Russell (Throwback to 'In Sickness and in Health')

"Stern, a bit much, but I'll be damned if he doesn't get the job done and give it a red-hot go. Also he looks like a pre-comeback Robert Downey JR."- Bob the Angel

"I can't believe we did a whole NTN and all we got was him. We did all of NTN to find Ryan fucking Rutherford"- Annie Saxberg

"Looks like a tall Ronnie Corbett"- Phoebe's Mum

"He's just great, y'know, focused, and yet so humble"- Ryan Rutherfo-YOU DON'T COUNT GO BACK TO YOUR OFFICE JEEZ.

(Disclaimer in case any of Ryan's extensive team of lawyers is reading this, we love him really. We promise.)

(Bit of lighthearted Office beer-pong)

I'll finish with one final piece of not-so-secret gossip.

SPOTTED: CEO Ryan Rutherford getting down and dirty with Gabe the Angel in an impromptu-strip-tease for the half-thrilled half-revolted crowd of co-workers.

(You can strip but you can't hide)

And who am I?

That’s one secret I’ll never tell.

You know you love me.

xoxo… Trudy the Intern-

Oh, dang flabbit.